Another trip around the sun

Well I made it back from Paradise and it has been a cold hard slap in the face.  Dealing with the same crap at the mine I left and it seems to have become more intense and wide spread.  How does it go, SSDD?  I'm F.I.N.E.!  Thats frustrated, irrate, neurotic and enraged.  I know that there is another translation but this is the one that works for me so deal with it.  Got it!?

I did come back with a different take on life.  Others have commented on a "change" including the spousal unit.  The change is that I now understand what is important to me, I know what being free is and where it comes from.  I know what I want and I get to have some fun too.  That I can put off having dessert and it could be the last time I get a chance to have dessert.  Live each and every day like it is your last.  The only true thing in this world is that none of us are leaving this chunk of dirt alive.  This does not mean that I intend to do wreckless, stupid things.  It does mean that I will live my life on my terms.  I will enjoy my life, build friendships with people I don't know, taste foods I have never heard of, stand on the edge of the cliff and feel small.  I you are catching up with me it is only because I have to backup to take another look at something.

From here on it is just me and the spousal unit.  I love my family but in the end I will not wish I had spent more time at work.  I'm Going Galt!

Bandaids and Bactine

Yesterday was a meat grinder, both mentally and physically.  Doctors who cannot take the time to see one extra patient a day have no problem adding on exams and/or patients to an already full schedule.  Or better yet, a person in a leading position OK'ing an add on exam for an area that they do not work in, have any knowledge of or will be around to deal with because they HAVE to leave on time.  How about a doctor not erring on the side of caution with a child who obviously has a problem.  I am sick of this so called "best healthcare system in the world" BS.  People, we are thirty-seventh in the world!  Can anyone name the thity-six countries ahead of us?  I can name one and it is the paradise that my happy butt is going to move to.

More and more of the people I work with, who are near my age are saying the same thing.  It's time to leave, go someplace else and live will we can.  What we are doing now is not why we entered into healthcare in the first place and worse, it is not getting any better.  The personel mix is changing rapidly and more of the faces I see are young and have little if any experience in their chosen field.  More of the doctors are recently graduates and they too have little experience but they are the only ones that will work for the wages and location offered.  I guess that's all you can hope for when you graduate at the bottom of your class.  Remember that the medical school graduate with the lost grade point average is still called Doctor!

Just two more days and I can kiss this shithole Goodbye for two whole weeks.  Maybe I'll setup the hammock cam so everyone can see how much it sucks not to be me.

Living NO in the NOT moment CAN'T!

No, Not, Can't.  These are all words that we hear today from the gubment, our senior leadership (i.e. manangement) and sometimes spouses.  To me, these are words of the defeated.  I refuse to be defeated or admit defeat at the hands of morons.  When I have the ability to try, to reach farther, higher and still draw breath then I am still in charge of me.  I refuse to subject myself to those who refuse to see anything other than their own personal gain in everything around them.  To those I say, you live by the sword, you perish by the sword.  In short I have had it with the current state of life we call living here.  Catch me if you can and even if you do..."INVICTUS".

I was woke up at midnight by the night tech, who not looking before dialing called me and then realized their mistake.  So, now awake and then I get to go back to sleep.  All for a paltry few shekles an hour.  Still like your healthcare leaders?  I don't and I don't care who knows.  Our healthcare has become a gross bastardization of capitalised socialistic parasiticism.  It's all for the profit of those in charge, delivered by those who actually do the work and sucks the life from the paychecks of everyone who pays the bills or taxes.  Still like your healthcare?  Given that the gubment just surveyed the facility and found "very few" issues in a facility that none of us would go to speaks volumes as to the surveyors credibility.  It's all a huge hoax and no one wants to believe that our system is no better than many third world countries.  Yet we are the most expensive healthcare delivery system in the world!  Face facts folks, we suck!  It's getting worse and you all will probably stay right where you're at now without exploring the options before they disappear.

I will live you a thought...

Brainage Shrinkage

Another visit to my shrink and while I don't feel physically better, courtesy of my current pestilence, I do know I'm not crazy.  Having heard several anonamous stories of the clueless people who should be removed from the gene pool.

I am not sure who shared their germs with me but they should be boiled in Lysol for the good of humanity.  Hopefully I will kick this crap and not pass it on to the spousal unit.  I actually feel a little better than I did this morning.  When I rolled out of bed I could have crawled into a coffin and it would have been alright.  Thank God for better chemistry...i.e. drugs.

Though I'm on call this weekend, I will make it through.  Then it's four short days and I am out of here.

Since my Give-A-Shitter quick working some time ago, my return date is still up for debate.

Frontal Lobotomy or A Bottle In Front of Me?

Another week of dread and terminal exhaustion.  All before having set the first foot inside the mine.  After the spousal units' weekend and having to deal with much the same as I do daily, she too is ready to fold up the tent and head south.  It is difficult to continue doing what we do for the company we do it for.  The mantra has always been that we are there for the patients, well that is partly true.  The whole truth is that everyone working in healthcare is there for the money.  Take the money away and even the most adamantly mission oriented savant will be forced to look elsewhere.  I just love it when the altruistic crap gets lofted into the air, proclaimed from banners and then trampled under the feet of corporate finanial concerns.  I have often found that the bigger the lie, more preparation and work is required to sell it.

The other day the spouse required a new mobile phone.  Not that the old one quit working, just that the new one did the same thing(s) in prettier clothing.  In the midst of the transaction, I was asked about "upgrading" my phone as I have had it for many years now.  I declined as the mobile I now have does everything I need it to do and does so in a very small, lite weight package.  I then floated the idea of doing away with the home phone and letting the Tick become responsible for their mobile as well.  That little move would save me approximately five hundred per year.  The idea was met with a marked silence as I knew it would.  The trick to the matter is the saving of money.  That is a concept that the spousal unit is forced by their own conscience to deal with.  I just love it when needs are pitted in battle against wants.  Try it sometime and watch people literally screw themselves into the ground.

I will leave you now with a photo and a question.  Don't I remind you of me?

The end of the beginning

Well, we finally have a meeting scheduled with the people who matter during our upcoming trip.  At last I am able to say that I have more than an average chance of giving the flying fickle finger to the managers of the Pope's rectum.  Let us not forget that there is actually a vacation planned to coincide with this blessed event.  Beaches, whales, snorkeling, thermal bathes and an ocean breeze twenty-four seven for two whole weeks.  No Tick or significant other to have a sudden "need" and no mining of turds.  When questioned about how long we will be there I always answer the return portion with "if".  The reaction is worth the price and it will be even better "if" I can come home, write a letter of intent to leave their employment, pack my crap and beep beep my arse out of here.

It finally has rained, for two days now it has been manna from heaven.  Hopefully it won't forget to do it more often.  Where I'm headed it rains almost every day.  I'll let you know how the rest of the week turns out.

The spousal unit got a phone call last evening, another useless piece of crap that will be here when we've packed and left.  I just love the thought of the mines dealing with those worthless lumps of pond scum taking over and doing what we do.  My advice to you all is to avoid healthcare if at all possible.  This new crop of healthcare heros is not worth two shits and a bucket of warm spit.  

'round and 'round

The end of the week brings but a small amount of solace.  It seems that the spouse has slipped into the all too familiar depression that they refuse to admit is present.  The timing is a little suspicious given this generally happens with the appearance of the grandchild.  I am sure that it is time for someone to see a counselor but that is a subject difficult to broach.

It seems the spousal unit is big on telling others what to do but short on following their own advice.  When it comes to dealing with her own demons, there seems to be a different set of rules.  It does get tiresome having to figure out which rules we play by today, right now.  I long for a simple life, one that does not include jumping through my arse to please everyone, resolve the issues in their lives, clean up their mess or pay for their overall lack of financial planning.

Then there's the prospect of paying a small fortune to fly to a west coast city just so the spouse can visit the grandchild.  All under the pretense of seeing a place she has always wanted to see.  Given that this topic has never come up in the past, at least not until someone moved there I find all too convenient.  I don't think that anyone believes me when I tell them that I may or may not return from my approaching trip. The prospect of coming back to deal with work, someone's depression and let us not forget the Tick is leading me to a depression.

This week I noticed that I had let the inspection on my vehicle expire.  Here, the only place that this may legally be performed is a licensed station and then only when it is not raining.  The weather liars had call for rain to begin today.  Guess what?  They were right!  Anticipating this I had asked is maybe the spouse could changed vehicles with me after work and get the inspection done as they close before I get off of work.  It is now Friday, raining cats and dogs and my vehicle is still needing to be inspected.  All of this is in the context of my having changed my plans on many occasions to take care of an oversight on her part for which she "would greatly appreciate it".  Funny how this knife seems to only cut one way.

Yes, I am tired and burned out by this lifestyle.  Most people in the world dream of moving here, getting a job and making the "big" money.  The truth is that most of American businesses are nothing more than pimps and we, the working class are whores.  We prostitute our lives for the shiny bobbles dangled before our eyes and the promise that if we will just work until we bleed, we can have it all.  The reality is that most of us are totally unhappy and spend our meager earnings on useless crap that we think will bring us the happiness we seek.  I long to do something different.  I long to give up most of this crap, this lifestyle for a life.  Something someplace somewhere somehow somenow.  It is time to get off of this merry-go-round and strike out in a direction leading to happy!

Tire marks on my brain

Today I feel like a zombie.  I just woke up, showered, got coffee and I'm already for the day to end.  Its student day and I can't tell you how I dread it.  Its like having another body tied to your arm and you get to drag it around all day.  The stress at home is no better.  I'm not sure what has the spouse all torqued up but she was in a LOVELY mood last evening.  Not sure if it's me, the Tick's responsibility, work or something else.  Anyway, its time to get the hell out of Dodge.

Just one more day of mining turds and then I should be off.  I say should be because I get the feeling that I will get to look after someone on my day off.  Usually when they are in town, I get volunteered to perform this duty.  Were the situation different and I volunteered the spouse to do something, all Hell would break loose.  Such is my life at the moment.  Still no news from the Tick or significant other.  Their child has been in town now for nearly five days and they've yet to see them.

Burn out is a bitch!  Especially when you just have to stick it out for a little while longer.  Just eighteen more days!

When Turds Collide

We've all heard the saying of shit hitting the fan...well guess what happens when turds collide?  You are either left with shit splattered everywhere or one giant turd.  I'm still trying to figure out which of the two I have to deal with at the moment.  It seems that the Tick and the significant other are in fact two planet size turds, sent to earth by a God with a really warped sense of humor.  Yes, sent here to test my sanity on a moment by moment basis.  The worst part is that they are not alone, no it seems that there are actually hundreds if not thousands of giant, fat assed turds living among us.  All just as worthless as the Tick and some even more stupid.

The Tick's responsibility was with us this entire weekend while they were at a sporting event out of town.  Once they had returned to town, they still could not manage to come visit or take care of the responsibility.  When asked, they responded with "they had work or needed to visit a parental unit.  Oh, I'm so sorry that you have a life and that mine seems to get in the way of yours.  Please don't let the fact that you are using my vehicle, paying your phone bill, took care of your animals or your responsibility upset your plans or cause you a moments mental angst.  When the wakeup call finally happens, I just wish them luck.  Just know that there will NOT be a ticket waiting at the counter for either of them.

One of the largest turds is the other grandparent.  You have all read what a mental giant they are.  Anyway, when all transpired this weekend guess who was not to be found?  You guessed right, this enormous, moron of a turd could not even answer the phone when called about seeing the child.  Oh, but they have a good heart.  I'm so tired of the spouse attempting to put golden lace on that stupid pile of crap.

Just nineteen days and a wakeup and I'm BEEP, BEEP out of here.

The Suckfest Continues

I was informed yesterday that my life has been planned for the next nine days, all without my knowledge or consent.  It seems that one of the parents of the grandchild is terminal and not expected to make it much longer.  Bad deal all the way around on that one.  I do have sympathy for the family because of that.  The issue is that said parents are flying in and I get to go pick them up and then take them to some house yet to be determined.  These people are not even remotely related to me other than being the parents of the Tick's little tick.  I am still pissed at being put in this position due to the total incompetence of so called adults.  So far all the information I've been given is an approximate arrival time.  No flight number, text saying where they are, when they will truly be arriving, in short NOTHING!  Can you tell that I'm still pissed?

Of course the Tick and the significant other is out of town and can't be bothered so once again we will be taking care of their responsibility for the duration.  It's amazing that no one gets it.  When I talk of throwing my crap into a pile and leaving, they all just sit awe struck that we would live someplace else, far away.  I wonder why?  I am so damn tired of people too stupid to close an umbrella dumping what should be their responsibilities into my life.

Before I forget, this is the best part of the whole damn story.  When the other grandparent was told of the plans and that I was elected to pick persons up from the airport, they said they would follow me to the airport!  For what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How Frickin' stupid can one person be?

I just want this F-----g nightmare to end.

I Know What Your Doin'...

I Know by Dionne Farris is quite possibly my favorite R&B song ever.  Not only is it great but it says exactly my feelings for the shithole I work at/for.  Having heard another story of a person with years of experience leaving.  Just one more reason to get the hell out of that outhouse on the hill.

Last evening we both were exhausted, neither had a lunch break and neither managed to clock out on time.  With all these new ways to delivery care, it won't be long before the executive leadership will be the only living bodies left in the building.  I know the symptoms, the inability to sleep, the drinking, the absolute dread of having to go to work, the horror of being on call and the phone ringing.  It's time to go.

When you have a turd for an immediate supervisor, how bad can it be?  It can only be shitty right?  How about the same question for a co-worker?  Same answer!  Along this same line, when is a sporting  an intermediate school sporting event an emergent reason for not working?  This is a healthcare worker in an American Non-profit hospital.  Good Luck America, you're going to need it.

Turd Sandwich or PBJ?

The "NEW" model of healthcare delivery, at least in the USA is allegedly based on customer satisfaction's relationship with pay for service.  The short version is basically your scores go down and the money from the Gubment goes down.  While I will never profess to know everything, I do know the quick way to ruin.  If you're spending more than you're making...but this is not the only issue at hand.  When one cuts from one side of the column then one must cut from the other.  In my case, this means that management must make cuts to/from the workforce.  The short version of this is that your experienced people will leave.  This is the daily occurrence I meet in the halls.  It's not just nursing staff but CA's, techs, etc.  Need your nurse, call an administrator.

It's really that scary kind of funny, you know when you can see the train wreck coming and everyone else is still worried about what shoes they are going to wear.  We are supposed to do our jobs faster, more efficiently with fewer people and know that we can take comfort in the company's mission when we lose our jobs or breakdown from stress.  The saying goes, you can call a shit sandwich a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but would you take a bite?  It would be such an easy fix were I able to do so.  All that needs to be done is to first, get off the Gubment tit.  Quit taking their money!  Second, make every facility identical in operation.  Third would be to name three facilities to handle charity and the rest as for profit.  Last would be fire two-thirds of Executive Leadership and their minion.  Problem solved, you funnel the no pay, slow pay customers into a select few locations, make it so anyone can go to any location seamlessly and function and lastly cut the bureaucratic bullshit spewing money leaches that do nothing to produce.   As none of this will happen I will eject, eject, eject.

It's been several days of not really hearing from the Tick.  Evidently they have not been paying anything towards past educational debt as I am getting messages asking for a call.  Well, I guess I was right when I said that the money loaned by the spouse was really a gift.  January is fast approaching, I do hope they have a plan, money and a parachute.

It Sucks to be a Tick

News Alert from Tickville, cars are expensive!  I was let in on a conversation between the spousal unit and the Tick regarding the cost of purchasing and maintaining a new (or new to me) auto.  It seems that the lack of a working air conditioner in the vehicle they are indefinitely borrowing is not working properly.  Since the modus operandi to date has been to either attempt to get me to repair the problem (or pay for the same) or to ignore the problem until I need to use the vehicle and then it becomes my problem.  As for the problem this time, at issue is someone working outdoors in the heat and then not having a working AC to ride home with.  I guess the sucking never ends for a tick.  I am quite sure that if there is an absolutely wrong answer to this question, the Tick will not only choose it but make it their life's goal to fulfill.

I did find a new website in which one allegedly is able to email their boss anonymously.  I am not so sure that in doing so, one could be found out and called to answer for their comments.  More thought and a more thorough investigation is warranted before I use this service.  It is intriguing though, just the thought of being able to vent ones feelings toward a boss with no chance of retribution.  I will let you know what I find out.

Having been on call night before last, I still have not fully recovered from the lack of sleep.  It normally takes several nights of consistently good rest to get back to feeling good.  Again, I'm not sure how a healthcare facility can say they are promoting wellness in the community they serve and abuse the workforce to the point of ruining their health.

There is a theory that if one tells a lie often enough, eventually it will be believed to be true.  This is what has happened with America.  We have been told for so long the "we" are the best in the world.  Problems like being forty-seventh in the world in healthcare never seem to get the airtime they deserve. The fact that multiple countries have a far better work/life balance with the benefit of being more productive and emotionally more stable than the US.  We in the US spend more hours working just to pay taxes than we do enjoying our lives.  The companies we work for wring the last drop of life from our broken bodies and then kick us to the curb all under the guise of being "one big family" and "caring".  When you hear about this being the "Land of Opportunity" just remember that the opportunity could be to abuse you for all your worth.  It's been said that never has anyone on their death bed stated that they wished they had spent more time at work.  I will not die at my job.  Paradise awaits, see you there.

It's wanting what you got...

That is a lyric from a Cheryl Crowe song and it is so true.  It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you got.  Most of you will think of possessions, cars, boats or things in general.  I think of my unconquerable soul, the one thing that is truly me.  That is what I want and while the corporate leaches will try daily to wrest it from me, I will never let it go.  Watching my co-workers trudge through their days reminds me of footage taken during the second World War of workers in concentration camps.  Seeing them simply placing one foot in front of the other as a means of surviving one more day.  Each day survived is just one more closer to death.  That is because the workers in the films, like those around me were not / are not living!  I refuse to give in to the soul sucking vampires of corporate America.  I will live the life I choose, the way I choose to live it.  Not in fear or remorse but with hope and the joy of knowing I am ME.

The other day when the Tick and significant other returned to collect their animals, they were asked about taking care of ours during our trip.  The comment of not having the time was mentioned and I immediately thought of not having the time to help them any more.  Let me see if I understand this.  We take care of their pets free of charge with only a moments notice for an undetermined period of time but they don't have time to return the favor.  I get to PAY someone to look after our animals (two) because this useless lump of detritus is unable to focus on anything other than themselves for two weeks.  And I still get to pay for the auto and mobile.  Well, January is fast approaching and those cold winds bode harsh and fateful changes.

One of the things that the spousal unit does that irritates the living shit out of me is to make a decision to do something and then make multiple changes along the way.  We have another trip planned for next year and already the thought of "other options" is rearing it's ugly head.  You make a plan and stick to it until a change is necessitated.  You DO NOT make multiple changes to the plan leading up to the event and then continue to make changes while undertaking the event.  And they wonder why my stress level is over the moon.  I guess the one thing that I seem to be in short supply of and want more of is sanity.  Or maybe I already have it, I just need to make them realize what they have to lose.

My shrunken head...

Having just seen the shrink, I do feel that my current feels are validated.  With in the F--k do we keep on coming back to these shitholes we as employers?  We are all treated pretty much like furniture, kept in place or moved about as need dictates and when that ends, we are place on the curb for the trash heap.  The corporate maggots feed off our corpses, given we each decay a little more each day.  When we look back upon our lives, will we leave a legacy?  What will that legacy be, one of despair and regret?  I hope that mine will be the guy who threw it all away and enjoyed taking back my life.

The Tick and the significant other have announced that they are headed out of town for the weekend and we are obliged to take care of their animals.  OK, let's see.  I get to take care of their damned animals for free and pay someone competent to take care of mine.  WTF!  Of course I did not get asked but more, informed that this was to be the case.  Oh well, just another reason to throw my crap in a pile and leave.

Having spoken multiple times with the people in paradise or more likely not spoken with, I think I will still be there inside of two years.  There is never going to be a panacea and this is OK.  I will just make allowances for the different parts, the best part is a slower life style with less stress and a view to die for.

To all the corporate pukes out there, Bugger Off!

Not the fall, but the sudden stop...

It's not the fall the kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end.  Not real sure who said that but it is still true.  The same is true for what we endure each day of our lives.  Each day we find ourselves falling at some point, not literally but figuratively.  As we fall we fear all that may happen or have to deal with the harsh words, evil looks or banishment.  Then the end where punishment is meted out and we deal with the sudden stop.

The Whiney Troll is up to something, having spoken to our resident "inHuman" Resources generalist (that is bureaucratic code for Useless Corporate Toady).  The "fearless leader" is being very quiet about it, when I asked them directly all I received in reply was a "yes".  My guess is that an investigation is being done for discrimination or hostile work place or some other bullshit idea the Troll has concocted in their sick little mind.  Either way, I could not care less.  If the Mine thinks that the Troll could do what my co-worker and I do, then more power to them.

I have heard very little from the Tick of late.  It seems that someone is being asked to work long, odd hours.  Boy, who would have thought that you would have to work so much, so hard at a real job that pays real money on a regular basis?  As we have heard nothing regarding the emergent medical condition of the significant other, I can only guess that their condition turned into having HPV and nothing more.  Once again, it's not the fall, but that sudden stop at the end.

Our trip is getting closer and packing has begun.  We are nearing the thirty days to go mark and I for one am looking forward to not being here.  Even if the business plan(s) fall through, I still plan on moving there eventually.  If that means opening a bed and breakfast type of business, then that is what I shall do.  You make a plan, you implement it and then you make adjustments to the plan along the way as need dictates.  Borrowing a line from an old television show, "It's not what you fling, but the fling itself that matters"(Chris Stevens, Northern Exposure).  I may be still in free fall but I am planning on that sudden stop being in paradise.

No Life Before Coffee

There is no life before coffee, this is a universal truth that is undeniable.  The coffee maker that we have had for fifteen years is now on its last leg.  It is making funny noises and taking way too long to make that life sustaining, hot, black liquid.  I guess I will have to shell out a few bucks and replace it.  Another old friend bites the dust.

I did manage to survive my day yesterday with minimal damage.  Though I almost fell asleep multiple times sitting in my chair.  The Whiney Troll kept to their self most of the day which was heavenly.  I really should read my work email a little closer as I did not get the new student yesterday as I had thought.  Should not come today either which is just fine with me.  New students for the most part are like an extra thumb.  They seem like a good thought initially but after being constantly in the way or following you to the restroom, they are a pain.  I know, I was one once upon a time but I don't think I was quite that annoying.

Here is another one of life's truths, work SUCKS.  I just need to figure a way to get several million dollars, legally, then I won't have to mine turds in the Pope's rectum.  Play the lottery I guess but that is really long odds.  So it is back to the mine, if Saint Whats His Nuts could only see what his little charity has become.  Whatever, its off to the mine.  Hi Ho, Hi Ho.

Psychic conversations

Last night the spousal unit had a full blown melt down over crap that I had discussed with them months ago.  You know the kind of mad fit where I never said this or this is the first time I've heard that... I wish that I could say this was the first time something of this nature had happened but it is not and is becoming more frequent.  Someone told me it has to do with the whole menopause thing but I personally think she is losing her mind.

As long as something is meaningful to her then the whole world should have it tattooed on their collective butts so as to remember it for posterity.  If it has to do with anyone else then it is a speck of dust lost in the cosmos and treated as such.  I am tired of this crap.  Having to defend every thing you say, being constantly wrong, having to be the backstop for everyone with no one looking out for you.

It doesn't help that I was on call last night and am currently running on a total of about four hours of sleep.  That means if you took every time I fell asleep, added them all together it might total four hours. On top of that, my schedule is full today, I get a new student to deal with and I have the Whiney Troll for six hours.  God, today is going to SUCK! and I get to come home to the psycho I live with.  Anyone want to trade places?

Priorities, Possibilities and Byes

I have survived another week of mining turds in the Pope's rectum with few bumps, bruises or scars.  Why we keep doing this I can only explain as being enslaved to our lifestyle.  If we did not have this big house, half of the crap that we have or the bills, our work life could be adjusted to a less stressful level.  That is my ultimate goal in quitting and moving.  Talking the other night as we were walking, that was the recurring theme.  When we talk to friends about the move that is one of the topics that they bring up.  I think most people want to live a less stressful life but they are too caught up in having it all. Living the lifestyle they see on the television instead of living the life of happiness.  We have been sold a bill of goods that is tantamount to being addicted to drugs.  Our drug of choice is material goods that bring a temporary happiness only to give way to the stress of having to deal with where to put it and how to keep it safe.  This is my goal.  To get rid of most of the crap I have accumulated and live a small, simple life.

The tick called the spousal unit the other day complaining that they had already worked forty-one hours and it was not even the end of the week.  I do love the way fate/reality/karma plays with some peoples lives.  Mid January will have been one year since the Great Faceplant, still no word of paying back, purchasing or taking over one's bill(s).  I have said little to the spouse regarding this but as of January all of this will be addressed.  The transportation will come home for good or be sold, the telephone transferred or turned off and the debt foreclosed.  The spouse said that they are waiting for the "light to go on, that is for someone to finally understand what it is we have done for years.  To figure out where the money is going to come from, how you make the impossible happen and what you do when you don't have a clue.

The good news is that the tick seems to be in a relationship of some form and therefore mostly out of my immediate life.  Though the room that they were using still looks like a disaster site, that too will be addressed.  I do wish the significant other luck in dealing with all that the tick is.  I can't help but feel another train wreck is on the horizon and that is reason enough to want out of here.

The Whiney Troll has come up with more unbelievable crap, even for them it taxes the mind's ability to fathom.  Given their personal life dictates what their work life should be, they have come up with a plan to flex their contracted schedule so as to not use any paid time off.  When brought to Pope Jr's attention, they did the usual song and dance routine.  I made to suggestion of making the Troll an "as needed" employee and thus allowing them and us to schedule or not schedule them to work.  This was to be addressed today in a meeting so we will have to wait and see what happens.  That is, if the meeting actually happens, the change in status is addressed or more likely, the Troll gets their way and the rest of us are required to pick of the slack.  Having spoken with the co-worker earlier this week regarding our lives at the mine, they said that they are looking to get out of there and given my desire to do the same it should be interesting to be a fly on the wall when it all happens.

Today is my day off and I have virtually no plans other than to relax, watch a movie or two and maybe go shop for some cables.  Whatever I do I will be on call this weekend so sleep will be at a premium.  The good news is we are nearing the thirty day mark for the trip which means I will be gone before they know it.  It really will SUCK to not be me!

Oblowmecare

The landscape of healthcare is changing and it's not for the better.  As I have said, each day I see more positions filled with faces I've never seen before.  These are not new hires but travelers, part timers and temps filling jobs that were once held by people I've known for years.  The management calls it "the evolving face of healthcare delivery".  Reading between the letters...forget what you used to get, this is what you're getting now.  Couple that with the corporate sociopaths and what you can expect is minimal mediocrity for the masses.

One of our esteemed leaders posted a message and seemed to misspeak themselves.  In it, they said that some of the new "initiatives" would allow us to provide more care for the un- and under insured.  I thought one of the major tenets of Oblowmecare was that everyone would be forced to have insurance.

I guess this was/is just another case of our leadership unknowingly telling us the truth.  You know, Sociopaths really do care, it's just not about you!

Menopausal mind

If anyone out there understands the female mind I wish they would stand up now.  Even better, how about the menopausal mind and how it doesn't function like anything known to mankind.  It is damn near impossible to know when your wrong, did not do enough, when to say something, etc., when the other party is having psychotic/schizophrenic moments.  These come from out of nowhere and can last for a moment to days.  Usually it is passed off as being tired but the end result is I get to deal with the attitude and inference that it's all my fault and I should empale myself on a dull rusty spike.  I can now understand why the people who live with nuts often first believe that they are the nut in the house.

Each day, more of the people I work with are leaving, changing jobs or at least talking about changing scenery.  As I walked through one of the halls yesterday, I noticed how many faces I did not recognize.  This is in an area where the same faces are seen everyday at the same hours.  Talking with my co-worker I hear words of change, broadening of horizons.  I read somewhere that it takes several tens of thousands of dollars to replace an employee.  If that is the case then how much money does it take to replace eight to tens years of experience?

Come to think of it, I guess executive leadership can have mental menopause too.

Here is paradise...hope to see you there!

Out of money but you still have a reality check

The tick says they are coming over at approximately eighteen hundred last evening.  When they finally do arrive its closer to twenty-one hundred and they are toting a load of laundry that they just couldn't seem to get done over the weekend.  On top of that, they wait until after we have gone to bed to raid the refrigerator, eating over half of the leftovers.  Then, this morning after letting the doors slam multiple times, they cook half the eggs, and leave the usual mess for us to clean.

I don't mind helping but this crap of showing up for meals and doing their laundry with my washer, dryer and soap and then leaving the mess to deal with stops here.  The ungrateful turd has yet to offer to pay for the transportation they use or the phone that is life altering when turned off.  Not to mention the money that is owed or the room that they flop into when the need is there.

Talking with some friends this weekend I get the feeling that they think we might not come back from our trip to paradise.  That thought is sounding better all the time, right now if they made a reasonable offer I would take them up on it.  Here I sit, facing another week of shit sandwiches at the Pope's rectum and knowing that it will get worse before it gets better.  One of the young, super techs that I work with has let the clock tick down and now probably won't be working with us after midweek.  Seems that when they give you a deadline to get your credentials and you don't, they let you go...fire you.  All of this boils down to me getting to be on call more often and having to listen to more bitching and moaning from the Whiney Troll.  Since school is about to begin again, we are hearing how someone "needs" to take off mid-shift to attend school functions for the Trolls child.  I personally don't care what they do but if anyone thinks that I'm going to work two hours for them on a weekend...

I have not even begun the week and I'm already worn out just thinking about it.  I wish I could afford the Calgon so it could "take me away".

Turd Bird or Turd Blossom?

Having had the tick move back in with the significant other has improved my home life exponentially.  They still owe me a chunk of money but they are not here, under foot to constantly remind me of that.  If I don't see a dime of the money and the tick is still gone for good then I say it's a win for me.

Having sent off the requested info to the peeps at paradise so I'm just a trip and goodbye away.  The it will be me telling the others at the mine how much it sucks to not be me.  Having said that, I heard from the co-worker that the Whiney Troll is up to their usual bullshit but for some reason they did not go forward with their plan.  I did hear that the Tool Pusher had caved in as predicted.  Go figure!  As I told the co-worker, the TP is nothing more than a nutless monkey.  When the clock ticks down I'm going to enjoy handing in my letter and knowing that no one can do my job.  I guess it will be time for them to buy the "Healthcare for Dummies" volume set.

So what is the difference between the turd bird and a turd blossom?  Not sure myself but I guess it has to do with a bird crapping on you or a blossom smelling.  Each/both being from the turd family, guess what the crapping / smelling is like.

That's all for the night, unfortunately it's not a great night on the tele but then again....there's RUM!

One shit sandwich with hair on it please!

The title was reminiscent of the scene from Animal House where Kevin Bacon is getting his butt beat with a paddle during the initiation to the fraternity.  After each hit he would say, "Thank you sir, may I please have another".  Our own company Pope placed a notice on the website this week discussing how "we" had formed a new committee to explore ways to get more agile, streamlined, efficient, etc.  All of these adjectives tell me and others that more and more cuts are on the way.  The thought process seems to be that "we" can do more, faster, cheaper with less people so as to cost them less money and still provide the same level of care as before.  Oh, and all of this will include the "walking erections" and "over educated morons" who walk the halls, ordering stupid, high priced and often redundant procedures.  I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad that we have our plan, we are putting it into motion and hopefully we will be out of our respective shit holes soon.

The Whiney Troll has broken their own record for backtracking on what they originally agreed to work.  Before, it was all about needing the money.  They agreed to work what ever, whenever with little notice.  Now it seems that they can only work twenty seven hours a week and can flex their schedule to work what ever days they want.  This is without making sure their scheduled shift is covered when they flex off.  It truly is amazing that these people are employed in a healthcare setting and that they are allowed to continue employment.  I guess I'm just too old, I remember a time when you worked what they told you, when they told you and were happy to have it or else they fired your lazy ass and hired someone willing to do the job as required.  Now days, it seems that these turds can do less than the minimum and still have a job.  We are told that they can't just fire them because there is a process that must be followed.  Well thats a load of horse shit, my friend was fired and it took them less than a month to do so with allegations that the management could not back up with evidence.  It is like my co-worker has said, you piss off the wrong person and they will find a reason (make up a reason) to fire you.

The tick has made up with the significant other though they are not completely out of my house yet.  I think that after the last blowup here, the thought of having to leave with no place to go caused a light to go on.  Go Figure!  They are still working the paving job for the moment but I figure another couple of weeks and the whining will begin.  I can say that when the tick is not here, it is nice and quiet.  I don't have to plan on cooking something with little notice due to someone eating what I had planned on eating.  I don't have to think about getting woke up when someone comes in late or deal with their shoes, boots or sandals left out by the door.  Although the room upstairs smells like a gym locker and I'm about to gather everything up in it and put it into the garage for someone else to enjoy.  It's funny because one of the arguments for wanting to leave the significant other was that they never clean anything in the apartment.  The tick said that they clean ALL the time.  I find this hard to fathom as all one has to do is look at the room to see the fallacy in that statement.

I have the entire day to myself, no distractions or demands.  The ability to do what I want, when I want.  Selfish?  Maybe but IDGAFRA!  I leave you with one of my most favored posters.  It expresses how I feel these days and that while I may not win the battle...I will win the war for my soul.

Socio-Pathe-Tick

We have a new word in our lives thanks to a cable television show.  The word for the day was "conflama" which is a contraction or the words conflict and drama.  I think you get the meaning...  So I get home last evening and get hit with the conflama for the day (at home anyway).  It seems that the little ticks other parent used a computer here and left themselves logged on to their email.  The tick used the same computer, found the email still logged in and proceeded to go through the emails.  Then sent threatening emails to the parent of the first part.  Conflict.101 right?  When the tick gets home and is asked about this they immediately get defensive and attempt to steer the conversation away from the original topic and towards how they are the victim in all of this.  The short version of this is that in all that was said last evening by the tick, I heard one and only one piece of truth from them.  That is that they were selfish.

I have reflected back on this and have come to the conclusion that the tick is truly a sociopath.  Having done my due diligence, doing the research and the end game from most of those I read say that you simply have to divorce yourself from them completely.  A sociopath will never admit they have a problem, seek help or effect permanent positive change in their life.  They will only continue to use, connive, steal, lie, disrupt and in general cause emotional havoc in those lives around them.

My goal is to come up with a plan to force the tick to move out for good.  I think that using communication and transportation as my leverage will work but I will need to get everyone on board.  I have even thought about speaking to the significant other about the tick.  It is not right for someone to be used like this and have no idea as to what is going on.  My problem is how to approach them without opening the door to reprisal.  You never know when or if someone will say too much and thus basically throw you under the proverbial bus.  Maybe if I approach another person to act as a go- between?  Not sure about this, I will have to give it more thought before action is taken.  

Only child vs The sociopath

Having thought about the conversation that took place Saturday evening for several hours now, I've come up with this thought.  What appears to be playing out is a sociopathic personality attempting to live with an only child.  Two individuals who are solely or mostly consumed with themselves and/or what they want without regard for the other.  This is true more so for the sociopath as they are constantly in search of what they deem to be fun, at least for themselves and care not for the feelings of the other.  The only child can't understand why they are not the center of this persons universe or why they are not able to get what they want from the other.

Two individual train wrecks taking place at the same place and time and neither understands why this is happening to them.  How could this possibly turn out well for anyone involved including me?  What I see happening is the Tick continuing to perform as they have in the past, getting the same outcome as always and having no idea why I want them out of my immediate life.

Funny thing is that this person made the statement last eve that if they came into money, they would just disappear and might contact us once a year.  When I turned that situation around the impact could be heard in Europe.  Funny how what works for us would not work for them.  I guess this was one major tell as to the true person sitting across from me.  While this might never change, my involvement in it will.

If this all plays out as I suspect it will then the tick will collect their things, bring it back to my house and pickup where they left off.  Never caring for what they have done to the significant other or how their lack of responsibility impacts my life.  This too will change as I've said before.  The revolving door is going to be replaced by the cold hard steel of reality.  While the Olympics may be over, the games are yet to begin.

Olympic javelin catcher

The tick has met my expectations with the latest development.  Last evening we decided to treat ourselves to a dinner out.  Unbeknownst to me, multiple text messages had been exchanged and guess who was invited to dine with us?  It seemed that someone needed to talk with us about a pressing matter.  My mind immediately went to another grandchild on the way but this was not the case.  Blessedly, after eating the subject was broached.  It seems that having lived together for less than three months they are having cohabitation problems.  One acts as a child, the other wants to enjoy the benefits of the relationship without the headache of a relationship.  Of course any mention of counseling is met with multiple excuses for not going and even included a lie as to the last alleged appointment.  What I did hear in the reasons for moving out and back in were petty, selfish and overall less than honest as the real reason(s).

With this week beginning and C.S. now gone, the mine will take on a different atmosphere.  At the party, the two department hemorrhoids did their best to be one with the people.  It was in reality more like turds trying to be truffles.  Based upon what I've been told, multiple bodies are due to leave within one to two years myself included.  Again, I will be providing the longs and lats to my front porch in paradise so that they may see my giving them to finger.

Getting back to the tick, I did make the statement that there would be no revolving door.  They must make a choice, live on their own or with us for the time being.  I will not have them moving out and in on a repetitive basis.  At some point they get to make it own their own, dealing with all the crap that comes with being an adult.  Shit bird that they are, the tick will eventually get to experience life, making difficult decisions on their own.  I wish them luck in figuring this shit out with no book to work from.  Life sucks, then you die!

This could be the view I see my house in a few day, months, years.  I guess this means is sucks to not be me.

Validation of me

After spending an hour and a half with my counselor I am led to believe that I am not wrong in my feelings.  S.H. has helped me figure out that I'm not nuts when I think that my children are a pain in the ass.  He validated my thoughts on the tick, that he is a self interested hurricane black hole of need.  He also agrees that I need to take care of myself from an emotional standpoint when it comes to child number three.  Silence screams louder than anything in this world.  So, let the roar of that silence quake the soul.

The spousal unit is in the grieving process over the grandchild leaving.  She was talking about being tired while she was here and missing the noise when she is gone.  What I have not felt was any degree of this from the parent.  The other was lamenting the degree of energy expended in caring for them.  Gee, who would have thought that it is really energy, time consuming taking care of a child.

The problem as I see it is that this is a case of children having to raise children.  If anyone thinks that I give two shits about how hard it is, how it impacts their lives or any other issue in their lives, they are very wrong.  I have been there and done that.  Especially with number two, he can have sex with everything with two legs as far as I'm concerned but I will not raise, support or take care of their offspring from here on.  As for that crap they pulled on vacation, that was twice and done.  First and last, I will not be transporting them (either or both) on any future trips anywhere.  As for number three, I will wait for the silence to become unbearable.

An asshole, maybe but I will not sacrifice my sanity for a bunch of children who want only what they want.  I don't care how it sounds or how looks but I will take of me and mine and they can figure it out for themselves.

Consider this my shot across the bow.

Children, ARGH!

My child's court case is finally over and now to pick up the pieces.  I am still pissed at not being given notice so as to attend but there's nothing that can be done now.  As for my child, I am not happy with them either at this moment.

When I attempted to call, offering my support and love I was cut off as they were shopping and would call me back.  The return phone call never happened and I am at the point of letting the silence roar.  Soon enough a need will arise and I will address my hurt.  I do realize that they are a teenager, we all went through that stage at one time or another.  My problem is the duplicity in their attitude towards me.  Life's a bitch when you have to face it on your own.

Yesterday I found out that one of our highly educated, highly esteemed healthcare providers was no longer employed at the mine.  It seems that they finally inflicted enough damage to warrant a request to move on.  I understand that they were allowed to leave with no marks on the CV so as to continue their gross incompetence with another organization.  God, I do love the way some "religions" practice transparency.  I guess it all has to do with sharks not eating their own kind.

One more day this week and then I am done.  I do have to survive fifteen minutes with the Whiney Troll this afternoon.  At least it's not all day.  Then its call tonight and I'm off for the weekend.  I just wish this was my last week at the mines period.  C.S. I still hate your guts for leaving!

The job and the moron

The tick started the new job yesterday with all the fanfare of a trip to the bathroom.  While they have had "real" jobs in the past, they were not necessary to survival.  This one entails manual labor, outdoors, in the sweltering heat and working with a paving medium.  I give it three weeks before the "I need to find another job" mantra begins.  The fact that I tried to get them to apply for several warehouse jobs, i.e., working in doors, air conditioning, operating machinery, etc., fell upon deaf ears.  Oh well, I guess it will take learning the lessons the hard way.  Not my problem!  They did semi move in with the significant other so hope is high that they will be two ticks on a cat's rear soon.

The ticks' tick is still sick and has yet to return to see a doctor.  I was let in on the conversation with the other grandparent which did nothing but cement my belief that they are a complete card carrying moron.  Maybe we are a little over protective but then again we see children who have been neglected or not had illnesses addressed far too often.  We have seen the results of having a high fever go unattended for too long.  This goofy person thought that maybe they just needed to wait and see what happens.  I thank the Gods that my only interface with them is on a very limited basis, both in occurrence and length.

Another day comes that I must travel to the mine, repeat the mantra and survive so as to return.  This is not living and I am jealous of my co-worker who leaves us this week.  C.S., you are one lucky, sorry S. O. B.!

SeaHags do exist!

In our lives we have all made mistakes for which we will ever pay a price.  One of mine was a person I married and had a child with.  Actually more than one and I paid and still pay the price for that error in judgement.  Having received a phone call from the SeaHag last evening I found out about a piece of time sensitive information that due to the lack of forewarning I am unable to attend a meeting.  It is/was important to me that I be there as it affected one of said children but someone "forgot" all about it and/or as I was out of town, they could not get in touch with me.  I find this lack of contact curious as our neighbor had no such difficulty and we were able to let one child phone said SeaHag from our location at least once.  Do you see a lie in any of this?  If this had been turned around so that the responsibility for relaying information had fallen upon me and I failed to do so, the ink would not even be dry on the court papers I was being served.  The spousal unit reminded me that I only have four more years of having to deal with the SeaHag and then for the most part she goes away.  It's all a matter of perspective, time that is.

The tick's tick left for the Left coast last evening.  After much confusion over how to pack all of the child's clothes into one shoulder bag, the mother and daughter came to see how our point made so much sense.  I swear, the two of them are dumber than a sack of hammers.  The mothers mother came up with the idea that if mom and the three year old could each take a backpack and carry on then they could maybe get everything on the plane without having to pay for a bag.  So, imagine yourself traveling with a three year old who did not feel well, having to change planes and deal with all the carry on baggage as well.  Everyone thinks I'm mean, hard, too "real" in my assessment of them when I say they are IDIOTS.  On top of this, we get a text at midnight our time saying they made it home just fine. Lovely, we now are awake, have to get up and go to work in the morning and this moron gets to sleep in.

My spouse wonders why I just want to stay as far away from them as possible.  Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because they collectively could not find their way out of a paper sack.  I keep hearing how "she's got a good heart" or "she is really a sweet person" but the truth of the matter is she is just plain stupid and nothing will ever change that.  I do not suffer the stupid, morons or idiots.

Another week of mining, I guess I'll see who is left, who is leaving and who really cares.  It's for certain that the little sisters certainly do care, it's just that what they care about is not what they say they care about, publicly that is.  SeaHags come is all forms.

Fishing for a moment

The grandchild goes back to the Left coast this weekend so while I anticipate the return to normalcy, I must also prepare for the spousal unit going into a depression.   While I've been there before I still do not enjoy having to survive another go round.  I guess it has to do with the difference between women and men, moms and dads, irrational and rational.  From my standpoint I will no longer have to provide clothing, food, entertainment, transportation, etc. to someone else's responsibility.  I will have my days off back to myself to do what ever I please.  Sounds selfish, maybe, but at my age I'm allowed to have some "me time".

We took said child out to eat last evening with the parent and significant other and something became very evident.  The parent ONLY wants to have said child in their care when they have someone else there to help.  It was also very evident that this same parent was putting on a show for the significant other.  I say this because I have heard them say that their child "was so annoying".  This did not happen in the presence of this other person and did not manifest itself last night.  Another observation was that the tick is basically an idiot.  They have the reading/comprehension level of a third grade child.  Hopefully the grandchild got the intelligence of the other parent because the one on this side of the fence could not pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

On the way home last evening, the spouse said that we should figure out how much longer we are going to be here (in this house).  This was followed with the statement that if we were to be here very long we should have a "radiant barrier" applied to the attic of the house.  This would allegedly lower our electric bill during the hot summer months.  On the face, this sounds logical.  The little voice in the back of my skull is screaming something else.  It wants to know what we are going to do with the tick and the money we are pouring into them?  That would save us several thousand dollars a year alone but that never seems to come to the spouses mind.  It always is up to me to cut my spending so as to make the budget work.  Regarding this, I'm more than a little tired of giving until I bleed from my eyes so a parasite can enjoy the good life.

Today I get to finally get this mess on top of my head cut!  I've been putting it off for over a month now due to my time getting hijacked.  This was done so "someone" could watch someone else's child while they lived their life.  Another great thing is that I get to go vent my spleen to the shrink.  This guy is quite possibly the greatest thing since sliced bread when it comes to getting a handle on the stressors in my life.

Well, here goes another day.  I have to go to the airport this afternoon to pickup the other parent.  I guess I forgot to mention that we had to pay a large portion of the airfare just to get someone else's child back home.  Think I'm not pissed about that?  I'll leave you with this photo of what I wish to see and the end of each day for the rest of my life.  Live long and prosper.

Throw it and it just keeps coming back...

The problem with the so called boomerang kids is that they keep coming back to whats easiest, least costly to them and/or lets them not have to work.  I was once young and thought I had all the answers to life's problems.  As the years have gone by I have realized that I still don't know what to do most of the time.  When a problem arrises I think my way through it, work my butt off to fix it or pay someone to make it work again.  Yeah, its stressful sometimes and often it's not easy but its what you do when you have to.  This generation is all about "me" and what I want.  It's about getting others to pay for things because it just isn't fair that you have to go to school, actually read books, write papers, take tests and most importantly show up everyday on time.  After several years of that you then have to go get an entry level job to pay your student loans and bills.  It's just not fair that they can't have everything that we as grownups/parents have immediately and at no cost to them.

The tick asked to borrow something last night which on the face of it was no big deal.  I asked if would be returned, when and where it would be returned to which they answered that night, to me, right here. When I asked about the spare set of keys to MY truck, they were on the significant others key ring.  I did get the face I was looking for though and had better get the keys back ASAP or else...

More and more colleagues are questioning what we do and whom we do it for.  I'm not talking about the patients as they always come first.  I'm talking about the people who sign the paychecks.  More of us are getting vocal and I feel it won't be long until the migration truly begins.  The other day when I spoke with the nurse, she mentioned the COO walking by.  She was in an area where entry is restricted due to infection precautions and needed something from outside the area.  The resident Pope did not ask if she needed anything but did comment on it was nice to see her smile.  That smile was in sarcasm to his believing everything is just fine.  She told as much and he never missed a step as he went to address something administrative.  I do hope they have purchased that book set as they will need it.

My co-worker returns today and I am extremely happy about that.  Maybe today will go by smoothly, quickly and without any pain.  HaHa.

Injection ejection

Yesterday at the mine was one of the most stressful days I've had in quite a while.  The new person can scan but lacks any and all self confidence.  On top of that they are slower than a glacier in the winter at doing the job.  The other person I was blessed to work with is just a slow and needs to have everything in a certain fashion or they can't do the job.  In the mean time I'm turning and burning just trying to stay ahead of the game.

Today should be about the same with the added benefit of having the student tag along with me every step of the way.  Its like having another thumb to deal with in a room full of hammers.  The good news is that my co-worker returns tomorrow and the student leaves this month sometime.  There really is a God in heaven.

I spoke with one of the CCU nurses yesterday and found out she is in the process of leaving for an office job.  This woman has years of experience at nursing and will be taking that too her next job in a doctors office.  Given that most of us are either on some form of medication or attending counseling, it is no wonder I see so many new faces filling critical jobs.  She said the turning point for her was when she found herself yelling at her children and spouse.  This is something she has never done before and did not want her children to have that as a lasting memory of her.

Did I forget to mention that I was exposed to a contagious disease due to a lack of signage and/or communication from the staff?  That happened just as our Infection Control people were making the rounds giving everyone a talk on just that.  Anyone still want to go the hospital?  Anyone at all?  No?  Neither do I but "at least I have a job".

My final thought is this, once all those people who give out the pills, take the x-rays and give the injections have ejected which of the management/administration types will fill the position?  The word is getting out and it is not that this is the Promised Land!

Post vacation vomit

We have survived the family vacation from hell and it did go pretty much as I suspected it would.  Too many people in one building for too long a period of time.  Especially when some of those have health problems and there are very young children as well.  As usual, the in-laws were wanting this to be a Norman Rockwell moments and in reality it was more like the Adams Family/Griswald Family Vacation.

The tick brought the significant other who suddenly needed to leave early to get a medical test done ASAP.  This meant that they had to take one of our cars putting three and half people, two kayaks, suit cases and everything else into one Xb.  This all transpired at ten o'clock at night when the electricity had been knocked out by a thunderstorm.  So as we all sat in the dark, sweating and attempting to get the little ones someplace with air conditioning, they are throwing things into my car so as to leave.  This was done with no discussion or asking advice.  Just we are leaving now.  My other half was furious to say the least as all this transpired in front of her family.

The tick's sibling did what I expected, smoked, ate and drank.  The later was done with everyone else's beverages as the sibling did not purchase ANYTHING.  Blessedly they left a day early.  The other thing of note was that the sibling is now an expert on just about everything one can imagine.  All this while they have no steady job and no drivers license.  The later due to multiple DUI convictions, thus they are now on foot.

The mother in law was her normal controlling self and even managed to have multiple mad fits.  No one was sure what brought them on.  Just a bunch of one word responses or very sharp answers to questions.  The meals had to be preplanned and this meant that there was WAY too much food purchased meaning someone had to make room to take it home.  This prompted another mad fit as no one wanted to deal with all the food.  Instead of leaving it for the cleaners or the next guest it all had to go with her.  The father in law has to eat at specific times of the day or else the world quits turning.  This means that when the clock begins to approach the anointed hour, everyone has to be prepared to stop what they are/were doing so that he may eat.  If the time comes and for what ever reason he is unable to eat then you get to listen to him complain or he begins pacing and complaining.  One thing he did say on the final day as we were leaving was that the next time a vacation like this was done, it should be days shorter.  AMEN to that and hopefully there will not be a next time.

On a crappier note, I have to go back to work in the mines today.  To make it even better I get to work part of the day with the Whiney Troll.  This is one of the individuals who had their hours cut two weeks ago.  As such, she demanded that she get first offer on any open shifts and wanted more time on call.  As predicted, she now is trying to get out of the call.  I don't know why the Pope doesn't just terminate her worthless butt and save us all from the misery that she is.

Now just a few short weeks and I'll be in Paradise for two weeks, without in-laws, ticks or having to deal with a Whiney Troll.  

Going, going, gone

This is a quick note to let everyone know I'm going away for a week of hell.  I won't be posting during that time but should be back in one week with more fun.

All my best to each of you, remember that if you love something you should set it free.  If it returns to you, it is yours.  If it doesn't return to you, then you should hunt it down and kill it.

Rainbows and elbows

The funny thing about relationships is that they only work when they are balanced.  Check out a site called Pravsworld...there is a really great poster about this.  Last night the conversation turned to getting prepared for our "vacation".  It is up to me to load everything possible in/on my car including the yaks. It was suggested that someone (her) would/could call the tick to come help.  This was immediately followed with I should call as it would be taken more seriously from me than her.  Why didn't she just come out and say I should call to make the arrangements?  Instead I get this crap of we should do this, you go do it.  Does anyone else have to deal with this sort of crap?  I for one am getting fed up with the convoluted manipulation B/S.

The trip has turned into pretty much what I knew it would and it has not even begun.  Now I get to deal with the tick's elder sibling who is an alcohol sodden druggie who only calls when they need money.  On top of this I find out that the tick's significant other may be joining us as well.  To put the icing on the cake, the later two will be riding with us while I'm sure the former will need to be collected at the nearest airport.  Put all of this together with twenty some odd people share one cabin for a week.  I think I would rather travel to a third world country to get a trans-rectal root canal done by a blind dentist.  Is there anyone out there volunteering to take my place...anyone?  I thought so...you bunch of cowards!

I only need to survive for one week which I will do.  You simply need to turn off the caring, let the crap hit the fan and make sure it's pointed at someone else.  Life is sooooo much easier to deal with when you choose not to care about things so much.  The Pope's minion sent out a message about accepting things as they are instead of how we want them.  So with that in mind I choose to let things go to shit, sit back and let someone else have to get up and deal with it.  It's NOT my problem!  The problem arrises when too many people attempt to get to the end of the rainbow all at once.  Everyone elbowing, pushing, shoving and fighting over trivial crap that means little or nothing in the end.

Hang on a moment...had to get more coffee.  As I was up at four something this morning, saving more lives...HA HA.  I will not miss the shithole of a mine for one minute.  Interesting enough, more and more of my coworkers are quietly making plans to leave as well.  At some point  in the near future the only ones left to do any work will be the newbies, management and crickets.  I guess they should invest in the complete volume of "Healthcare for Dummies" books.  But fear not my quivering friends, the gubment has a plan to save healthcare and us.  This from the same group who passed and signed an amendment exempting themselves out of our wonderful new and improved gubment sponsored healthcare initiative.

Well time to go, I've ten hours and a drive to go before I sleep.

Much too young...

The words of the song goes "I'm much too young to feel this damn old" and that is just how I feel at this moment.  Another week of mining turds, dealing with fools, shuffling my life to accomodate others, etc.  I am just worn out and I need a break from this insanity.

The week(s) of hell are now upon me.  This week, we aquire two more bodies to deal with.  The next we get to deal with all the family in one very small house.  My enthusiasm runeth over in case you can't tell.  Oh well, like a bad ham sandwich...this too shall pass.  I shall try to practice my Zen excercises but it is hard to not think of anything when everything is resting upon you.  Pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rum, it's not just for breakfast...

I had the most restful, peaceful evening last night.  The spouse, tick and tick's tick were gone leaving the house to me, myself and my dogs.  I watched what I wanted, had adult/dog conversation and mostly just relished the quiet calm of solitude.  There is a fine line the seperates lonelyness from solitude and the wise know what that difference is.

The headache I had been suffering finally subsided and now I am left with the bruised fealings from applying pressure point therapy.  The bruised feeling is much better than the ice pick in the temple feeling to be sure.

I did hear from a co-worker that we were both spared in the cuts at the Pope's mine.  The others did not fare so well and to be honest both need to be gone.  That is another tale of woe for another day.  The important thing is that my hours are intact thus allowing me to continue with the plan to eject.

I found another website with posting for houses and land in paradise.  The really cool part is that I found two houses that fall well within the budget and would afford the purchase of "Number Five".
Who at this moment resides several paradises away.  With it, the house and the business we will be set for life.  How sweet a life it will be...no ticks, leaches, relatives or Klingons.  The Klingons tend to be the worst.  For those inquiring minds the Klingons are relatives who show up with little or no warning. Making plans for things they "think" would be fun and then don't leave soon enough.  If you've never had the pleasure of their company, just wait.  Every family has at least one and usually takes the form of an in-law thus promising you a life of Hell should you make them or their child (your spouse) mad.

The title is stolen from a college beer drinking poster so I truly cannot accept credit for it though it is truthful.  A shot of that magical, golden nectar of the Gods in ones morning coffee does wonders.  It seems to make one not care as much about how the day appears or what one may face.  Not that I am an advocate of over indulgence, hardly the case.  Just that it can be applied internally for medical purposes (mental health is still medicine).

I leave you with a photo of one of my favorite places on this planet.  Those who are lucky enough to have visited it know what I speak of.  Those who do not, maybe you will be lucky enough to find me when I eject or get an invitation which will include a visit to this most magical spot.  Till then...

Solitude of self

Having survived another week I feel as though I've been twisted into knots.  The prospect of having my hours cut, job cut, taking care of the tick's tick, etc. are draining on one's soul.  Multiple times I am expected to give up my time off to take care of others "needs" due to a lack of planning and/or forethought.  In short, I am tired!

The tick did manage to wreck the vehicle they were using.  That makes two vehicles they have wrecked to date without having owned one.  I am told that they will hear about a possible job this week and if it is positive then I will get to enjoy their company on the up coming vacation.  The thought of dealing with them for a full week does nothing for my current stress headache.

Speaking of the vacation, this was thought up by the spouses family.  The thought of spending a week in a cabin full of people does not thrill me in the least.  A few peeps would be OK and survivable but to have that many people at one time is not my idea of fun.  I think that someones mortality is causing them angst and therefore we must have these family gatherings.  It is either that or guilt for not having spent more time with them when they were children.  Either way it is now dependant upon me to drive a thousand miles, spend money I could put elsewhere and burn precious vacation days doing something less than fun.

It is just this sort of crap that makes me want to eject from this hell and move to an island.  Somewhere difficult to get too so that visitors are few.  I just crave solitude!  I am tired of feeling like I'm being pulled in twenty directions at once.  When you go to sleep exhausted, wake up exhausted and then have to please everyone...need I say more.

So today, once again I am responsible for looking after someone's responsibilty until late this afternoon.  I have put off personal things just to accomodate them and not one of them seems to take note.  We all sometimes need help from others, I get that.  What I am talking about is when others continue making plans that require you to put your life on hold just for them.  It seems to be a socially genetic flaw in todays younger people.  I seem to remember doing without or making arrangements to cover my needs without the assistance of others.  Now days it seems that it truly does take a village to raise a child.  That is because our children refuse to growup and accept responsibility for their actions.  I for one would have no problem cutting the apron strings, casting them off on their own.  One of the saying I've heard multiple times is that hunger is a great motivator.

Well, I need to go tend to the tick's tick because they are busy taking care of their needs instead of their responsibilities needs.

Grab your ankles time

Those sweet little sisters of Satan are at it again.  Now they will have fewer of us to mine those turds in the Popes rectum due to another round of cuts, layoffs and job "re-definement".  While none of the administration gets touched or has to suffer from smaller paychecks, those of us on the front lines of delivering care get to do three times the work with a third of the resources and/or pay.  They seem to have stolen a page from the gubments play book on how to run an operation into oblivion.

I read a post yesterday about finding yourself in a hole with no plan on how to get out of it.  This seems to be the new SOP for todays MBA's.  In the mean time we should all take strength in the values of our purpose and goals....try selling that to your creditors.

The tick has not made it home for several nights now, not that I'm complaining.  Just thinking that maybe that part of the nightmare will soon end and I can move on to moving on.  I look at this belle melange with great fear of what is to come.  It seems that the economy is tanking and I am stuck with this parasite of a child.  Not that they are the only one, just the closest and most time/resource consuming.

It truly appears that our day of reckoning is upon us, time to grab your ankles boys and girls.

Another day in the trenchs

Well, let's see how to put all of this.  The golden child states they don't think they can afford to fly their responsibility back to the Left coast, surprise!  The other grandparent had no clue either as to how the responsibility was getting back as both of hers initially said they would fly and now both say they don't want to.  Once again its up to us to contact the other party, make the arrangements and make sure that everything gets paid for.  I will ask this question once again, how is it that one can work for six months, not pay any bills and have no money in their pocket or bank account?

We were told (in secret) that this week the little sisters of satan would be cutting jobs or hours.  I just love how this religious affiliated healthcare organization lives the tenets they claim to espouse.  With everything I have to keep paid and on top of the last thing I need is to worry about having a job.  The last time we went through this they cut our jobs, offered us new ones at fewer hours and let us make up the shortfall in pay by working more hours on call.  Now we think they will cut the hours enough to force some of us to quit.  This will mean the few left will work more hours, more call and less time to rest.

Where in the world would you live if you could?  What I mean is that you could make enough to support yourself, have a place to live and not have to do the daily grind.  Everyone has a dream of escaping from their boomerang children, tyrant boss, endless taxation and/or ever increasing sense of hopelessness.  If this life, the one we are living right now is all that there is or will ever be then why do we continue to go on?  I'm not talking about suicide or having an emotional breakdown.  What I'm saying is why not eject from this workers paradise, this American dream of getting rich.  How about living somewhere small with less stress and more life?  Each day we wakeup, wade through the mud and crawl into the trenches to fight for what?  We might get to keep thirty to forty percent of our earned income, that is after we have paid all the direct and indirect taxes.  It's just not worth it any more.

Then when it comes to supporting ticks, you know those nasty little parasites that suck the life blood out of us.  Those sweet little things that we once held and looked upon with love and hope for the future.  That now only want their lives to be like a television show or Hollywood magazine story.  Their futures start and stop at the ends of their collective noses.

All of this is contributing to my burnout and I am ready to make a break for it.  How about you?  

Pots of gold

They say that at the end of every rainbow lies a pot of gold.  While I've been to the end of several rainbows I've yet to find my pot of gold.  I guess the moral to the story is that the pot of gold lies in the journey or the hunt for treasure and that we should find the treasure in the hunt itself.  The line from the song goes something like "it's not getting what you want but wanting what you've got".  Unfortunately I don't want some of the things I've got!

Like the tick, just can't bring myself to say that I truly want that to be a part of my life forever.  Knowing that their standard operating procedures will never change.  Once again the lovely individual that they are left their responsibility squarely in our hands.  Not that we mind taking care of this person just I didn't sign up to raise someones child, pay for the privilege of doing the same while they work on their social life.

The fifteenth of this month marks six months of getting ones act together or the lack there of.  I've come to the decision that its time for them to assume a share of the load.  In my life one of the strongest motivators was always living in doors and being able to eat something.  I personally believe that until this upstanding model of society is forced to pull their share of the load, they will choose to ride.  That time has come and gone and I think come Monday a new leaf will turn in their comfortable little world.  It should be interesting to see how those priorities change when the responsibility for paying for some of those "needs" come to rest squarely upon a new set of shoulders.

Don't I just remind you of Me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!