Composting a day

Working in healthcare was at one time rewarding, challenging, life changing work.  Now, each day begins with arguing with myself about the need to go because it is a job and I have bills to pay.  With care now being controlled by huge corporations both for profit and non profit alike the bottom line is the bottom line. To use the line from the movie "Top Gun"...Eject, Eject, Eject!  These three words scream in my thoughts each day.  Sad as it may seem, many of those I work with feel the same only they have no exit plan and therefore simply show up, do the time, clock out only to return and do the same thing the next day.  Really makes you want to be in the hospital right?

Having the Tick at home does nothing to help.  Last night after announcing how tired they were from working ALL day, they leave to spend the night elsewhere...with a "friend" I suppose.  So I get up and fix coffee, unload the dishwasher and make plans to mow and trim the yard that they never did get done.

What makes this bearable is that one day a sign will appear in the yard.  Following this happening my happy fanny will throw my things in a pile, bid a found one finger salute to this life and begin anew down south.  Oh by the way, Happy Anniversary to ME!

Another Tick

I don't know what happened to the child, one moment there seemed to have such promise and the next he became a tick.  Where did he learn this lifestyle?  Certainly not from me but none the less I appear to be stuck with him for the short term.  His mohter goes from anger to enabling all the while thinking that eventually the light will go on and he will have the epiphany of the ages.  My thought is that I can endure just about anything for a period of time, what he doesn't know is that my exit plan is in motion.  The only part of it that concerns him is that when I eject, he will still be on a plane sprialling into the ground.


No plan, no realistic goals, no marketable skills or ambition, just a head full of dreams that have no prospects for being fulfulled.  How do the people his age or better in this generation hope to survive?  I see more of them each day and wonder how are we suppose to depend upon them for the future?  Forget about Social Security as most of them either don't work or hold only minimum wage jobs (mostly parttime ) so they can have a social life too.  


I started to make a purchase this past week, one that I just wanted.  Not something that was a need but I felt that I had worked, paid bills and made the sacrifices required so I was going to take the plunge.  After spending two to go look at it I talked myself out of buying.  My reasoning was that I had more No's than Yes's and my ultimate goal would be put off track slightly by a want.  This reasoning does not happen with young adults these days.  I see it from mulitple fronts and have to worry about those who will choose to ride out this approaching storm.  Maybe thats not the correct word, this appears to be more of a train wreck than a storm.  One of those things that envolves people not even envolved with it just caught up in the carnage.  

Time will tell but the text I just received gives me hope that my time being drained is shorter than it was.  My plan is to eject from this life and gently float into another.  I have no delusions of paradise or perfection just something smaller and more simple than this life now.  Having remade myself several times I know that it can be done.  I would envite others along but then my goal is to get rid of the ticks, not take them with me to sanity.