Bandaids and Bactine

Yesterday was a meat grinder, both mentally and physically.  Doctors who cannot take the time to see one extra patient a day have no problem adding on exams and/or patients to an already full schedule.  Or better yet, a person in a leading position OK'ing an add on exam for an area that they do not work in, have any knowledge of or will be around to deal with because they HAVE to leave on time.  How about a doctor not erring on the side of caution with a child who obviously has a problem.  I am sick of this so called "best healthcare system in the world" BS.  People, we are thirty-seventh in the world!  Can anyone name the thity-six countries ahead of us?  I can name one and it is the paradise that my happy butt is going to move to.

More and more of the people I work with, who are near my age are saying the same thing.  It's time to leave, go someplace else and live will we can.  What we are doing now is not why we entered into healthcare in the first place and worse, it is not getting any better.  The personel mix is changing rapidly and more of the faces I see are young and have little if any experience in their chosen field.  More of the doctors are recently graduates and they too have little experience but they are the only ones that will work for the wages and location offered.  I guess that's all you can hope for when you graduate at the bottom of your class.  Remember that the medical school graduate with the lost grade point average is still called Doctor!

Just two more days and I can kiss this shithole Goodbye for two whole weeks.  Maybe I'll setup the hammock cam so everyone can see how much it sucks not to be me.

Living NO in the NOT moment CAN'T!

No, Not, Can't.  These are all words that we hear today from the gubment, our senior leadership (i.e. manangement) and sometimes spouses.  To me, these are words of the defeated.  I refuse to be defeated or admit defeat at the hands of morons.  When I have the ability to try, to reach farther, higher and still draw breath then I am still in charge of me.  I refuse to subject myself to those who refuse to see anything other than their own personal gain in everything around them.  To those I say, you live by the sword, you perish by the sword.  In short I have had it with the current state of life we call living here.  Catch me if you can and even if you do..."INVICTUS".

I was woke up at midnight by the night tech, who not looking before dialing called me and then realized their mistake.  So, now awake and then I get to go back to sleep.  All for a paltry few shekles an hour.  Still like your healthcare leaders?  I don't and I don't care who knows.  Our healthcare has become a gross bastardization of capitalised socialistic parasiticism.  It's all for the profit of those in charge, delivered by those who actually do the work and sucks the life from the paychecks of everyone who pays the bills or taxes.  Still like your healthcare?  Given that the gubment just surveyed the facility and found "very few" issues in a facility that none of us would go to speaks volumes as to the surveyors credibility.  It's all a huge hoax and no one wants to believe that our system is no better than many third world countries.  Yet we are the most expensive healthcare delivery system in the world!  Face facts folks, we suck!  It's getting worse and you all will probably stay right where you're at now without exploring the options before they disappear.

I will live you a thought...

Brainage Shrinkage

Another visit to my shrink and while I don't feel physically better, courtesy of my current pestilence, I do know I'm not crazy.  Having heard several anonamous stories of the clueless people who should be removed from the gene pool.

I am not sure who shared their germs with me but they should be boiled in Lysol for the good of humanity.  Hopefully I will kick this crap and not pass it on to the spousal unit.  I actually feel a little better than I did this morning.  When I rolled out of bed I could have crawled into a coffin and it would have been alright.  Thank God for better chemistry...i.e. drugs.

Though I'm on call this weekend, I will make it through.  Then it's four short days and I am out of here.

Since my Give-A-Shitter quick working some time ago, my return date is still up for debate.

Frontal Lobotomy or A Bottle In Front of Me?

Another week of dread and terminal exhaustion.  All before having set the first foot inside the mine.  After the spousal units' weekend and having to deal with much the same as I do daily, she too is ready to fold up the tent and head south.  It is difficult to continue doing what we do for the company we do it for.  The mantra has always been that we are there for the patients, well that is partly true.  The whole truth is that everyone working in healthcare is there for the money.  Take the money away and even the most adamantly mission oriented savant will be forced to look elsewhere.  I just love it when the altruistic crap gets lofted into the air, proclaimed from banners and then trampled under the feet of corporate finanial concerns.  I have often found that the bigger the lie, more preparation and work is required to sell it.

The other day the spouse required a new mobile phone.  Not that the old one quit working, just that the new one did the same thing(s) in prettier clothing.  In the midst of the transaction, I was asked about "upgrading" my phone as I have had it for many years now.  I declined as the mobile I now have does everything I need it to do and does so in a very small, lite weight package.  I then floated the idea of doing away with the home phone and letting the Tick become responsible for their mobile as well.  That little move would save me approximately five hundred per year.  The idea was met with a marked silence as I knew it would.  The trick to the matter is the saving of money.  That is a concept that the spousal unit is forced by their own conscience to deal with.  I just love it when needs are pitted in battle against wants.  Try it sometime and watch people literally screw themselves into the ground.

I will leave you now with a photo and a question.  Don't I remind you of me?

The end of the beginning

Well, we finally have a meeting scheduled with the people who matter during our upcoming trip.  At last I am able to say that I have more than an average chance of giving the flying fickle finger to the managers of the Pope's rectum.  Let us not forget that there is actually a vacation planned to coincide with this blessed event.  Beaches, whales, snorkeling, thermal bathes and an ocean breeze twenty-four seven for two whole weeks.  No Tick or significant other to have a sudden "need" and no mining of turds.  When questioned about how long we will be there I always answer the return portion with "if".  The reaction is worth the price and it will be even better "if" I can come home, write a letter of intent to leave their employment, pack my crap and beep beep my arse out of here.

It finally has rained, for two days now it has been manna from heaven.  Hopefully it won't forget to do it more often.  Where I'm headed it rains almost every day.  I'll let you know how the rest of the week turns out.

The spousal unit got a phone call last evening, another useless piece of crap that will be here when we've packed and left.  I just love the thought of the mines dealing with those worthless lumps of pond scum taking over and doing what we do.  My advice to you all is to avoid healthcare if at all possible.  This new crop of healthcare heros is not worth two shits and a bucket of warm spit.  

'round and 'round

The end of the week brings but a small amount of solace.  It seems that the spouse has slipped into the all too familiar depression that they refuse to admit is present.  The timing is a little suspicious given this generally happens with the appearance of the grandchild.  I am sure that it is time for someone to see a counselor but that is a subject difficult to broach.

It seems the spousal unit is big on telling others what to do but short on following their own advice.  When it comes to dealing with her own demons, there seems to be a different set of rules.  It does get tiresome having to figure out which rules we play by today, right now.  I long for a simple life, one that does not include jumping through my arse to please everyone, resolve the issues in their lives, clean up their mess or pay for their overall lack of financial planning.

Then there's the prospect of paying a small fortune to fly to a west coast city just so the spouse can visit the grandchild.  All under the pretense of seeing a place she has always wanted to see.  Given that this topic has never come up in the past, at least not until someone moved there I find all too convenient.  I don't think that anyone believes me when I tell them that I may or may not return from my approaching trip. The prospect of coming back to deal with work, someone's depression and let us not forget the Tick is leading me to a depression.

This week I noticed that I had let the inspection on my vehicle expire.  Here, the only place that this may legally be performed is a licensed station and then only when it is not raining.  The weather liars had call for rain to begin today.  Guess what?  They were right!  Anticipating this I had asked is maybe the spouse could changed vehicles with me after work and get the inspection done as they close before I get off of work.  It is now Friday, raining cats and dogs and my vehicle is still needing to be inspected.  All of this is in the context of my having changed my plans on many occasions to take care of an oversight on her part for which she "would greatly appreciate it".  Funny how this knife seems to only cut one way.

Yes, I am tired and burned out by this lifestyle.  Most people in the world dream of moving here, getting a job and making the "big" money.  The truth is that most of American businesses are nothing more than pimps and we, the working class are whores.  We prostitute our lives for the shiny bobbles dangled before our eyes and the promise that if we will just work until we bleed, we can have it all.  The reality is that most of us are totally unhappy and spend our meager earnings on useless crap that we think will bring us the happiness we seek.  I long to do something different.  I long to give up most of this crap, this lifestyle for a life.  Something someplace somewhere somehow somenow.  It is time to get off of this merry-go-round and strike out in a direction leading to happy!

Tire marks on my brain

Today I feel like a zombie.  I just woke up, showered, got coffee and I'm already for the day to end.  Its student day and I can't tell you how I dread it.  Its like having another body tied to your arm and you get to drag it around all day.  The stress at home is no better.  I'm not sure what has the spouse all torqued up but she was in a LOVELY mood last evening.  Not sure if it's me, the Tick's responsibility, work or something else.  Anyway, its time to get the hell out of Dodge.

Just one more day of mining turds and then I should be off.  I say should be because I get the feeling that I will get to look after someone on my day off.  Usually when they are in town, I get volunteered to perform this duty.  Were the situation different and I volunteered the spouse to do something, all Hell would break loose.  Such is my life at the moment.  Still no news from the Tick or significant other.  Their child has been in town now for nearly five days and they've yet to see them.

Burn out is a bitch!  Especially when you just have to stick it out for a little while longer.  Just eighteen more days!

When Turds Collide

We've all heard the saying of shit hitting the fan...well guess what happens when turds collide?  You are either left with shit splattered everywhere or one giant turd.  I'm still trying to figure out which of the two I have to deal with at the moment.  It seems that the Tick and the significant other are in fact two planet size turds, sent to earth by a God with a really warped sense of humor.  Yes, sent here to test my sanity on a moment by moment basis.  The worst part is that they are not alone, no it seems that there are actually hundreds if not thousands of giant, fat assed turds living among us.  All just as worthless as the Tick and some even more stupid.

The Tick's responsibility was with us this entire weekend while they were at a sporting event out of town.  Once they had returned to town, they still could not manage to come visit or take care of the responsibility.  When asked, they responded with "they had work or needed to visit a parental unit.  Oh, I'm so sorry that you have a life and that mine seems to get in the way of yours.  Please don't let the fact that you are using my vehicle, paying your phone bill, took care of your animals or your responsibility upset your plans or cause you a moments mental angst.  When the wakeup call finally happens, I just wish them luck.  Just know that there will NOT be a ticket waiting at the counter for either of them.

One of the largest turds is the other grandparent.  You have all read what a mental giant they are.  Anyway, when all transpired this weekend guess who was not to be found?  You guessed right, this enormous, moron of a turd could not even answer the phone when called about seeing the child.  Oh, but they have a good heart.  I'm so tired of the spouse attempting to put golden lace on that stupid pile of crap.

Just nineteen days and a wakeup and I'm BEEP, BEEP out of here.

The Suckfest Continues

I was informed yesterday that my life has been planned for the next nine days, all without my knowledge or consent.  It seems that one of the parents of the grandchild is terminal and not expected to make it much longer.  Bad deal all the way around on that one.  I do have sympathy for the family because of that.  The issue is that said parents are flying in and I get to go pick them up and then take them to some house yet to be determined.  These people are not even remotely related to me other than being the parents of the Tick's little tick.  I am still pissed at being put in this position due to the total incompetence of so called adults.  So far all the information I've been given is an approximate arrival time.  No flight number, text saying where they are, when they will truly be arriving, in short NOTHING!  Can you tell that I'm still pissed?

Of course the Tick and the significant other is out of town and can't be bothered so once again we will be taking care of their responsibility for the duration.  It's amazing that no one gets it.  When I talk of throwing my crap into a pile and leaving, they all just sit awe struck that we would live someplace else, far away.  I wonder why?  I am so damn tired of people too stupid to close an umbrella dumping what should be their responsibilities into my life.

Before I forget, this is the best part of the whole damn story.  When the other grandparent was told of the plans and that I was elected to pick persons up from the airport, they said they would follow me to the airport!  For what?!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How Frickin' stupid can one person be?

I just want this F-----g nightmare to end.

I Know What Your Doin'...

I Know by Dionne Farris is quite possibly my favorite R&B song ever.  Not only is it great but it says exactly my feelings for the shithole I work at/for.  Having heard another story of a person with years of experience leaving.  Just one more reason to get the hell out of that outhouse on the hill.

Last evening we both were exhausted, neither had a lunch break and neither managed to clock out on time.  With all these new ways to delivery care, it won't be long before the executive leadership will be the only living bodies left in the building.  I know the symptoms, the inability to sleep, the drinking, the absolute dread of having to go to work, the horror of being on call and the phone ringing.  It's time to go.

When you have a turd for an immediate supervisor, how bad can it be?  It can only be shitty right?  How about the same question for a co-worker?  Same answer!  Along this same line, when is a sporting  an intermediate school sporting event an emergent reason for not working?  This is a healthcare worker in an American Non-profit hospital.  Good Luck America, you're going to need it.

Turd Sandwich or PBJ?

The "NEW" model of healthcare delivery, at least in the USA is allegedly based on customer satisfaction's relationship with pay for service.  The short version is basically your scores go down and the money from the Gubment goes down.  While I will never profess to know everything, I do know the quick way to ruin.  If you're spending more than you're making...but this is not the only issue at hand.  When one cuts from one side of the column then one must cut from the other.  In my case, this means that management must make cuts to/from the workforce.  The short version of this is that your experienced people will leave.  This is the daily occurrence I meet in the halls.  It's not just nursing staff but CA's, techs, etc.  Need your nurse, call an administrator.

It's really that scary kind of funny, you know when you can see the train wreck coming and everyone else is still worried about what shoes they are going to wear.  We are supposed to do our jobs faster, more efficiently with fewer people and know that we can take comfort in the company's mission when we lose our jobs or breakdown from stress.  The saying goes, you can call a shit sandwich a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but would you take a bite?  It would be such an easy fix were I able to do so.  All that needs to be done is to first, get off the Gubment tit.  Quit taking their money!  Second, make every facility identical in operation.  Third would be to name three facilities to handle charity and the rest as for profit.  Last would be fire two-thirds of Executive Leadership and their minion.  Problem solved, you funnel the no pay, slow pay customers into a select few locations, make it so anyone can go to any location seamlessly and function and lastly cut the bureaucratic bullshit spewing money leaches that do nothing to produce.   As none of this will happen I will eject, eject, eject.

It's been several days of not really hearing from the Tick.  Evidently they have not been paying anything towards past educational debt as I am getting messages asking for a call.  Well, I guess I was right when I said that the money loaned by the spouse was really a gift.  January is fast approaching, I do hope they have a plan, money and a parachute.

It Sucks to be a Tick

News Alert from Tickville, cars are expensive!  I was let in on a conversation between the spousal unit and the Tick regarding the cost of purchasing and maintaining a new (or new to me) auto.  It seems that the lack of a working air conditioner in the vehicle they are indefinitely borrowing is not working properly.  Since the modus operandi to date has been to either attempt to get me to repair the problem (or pay for the same) or to ignore the problem until I need to use the vehicle and then it becomes my problem.  As for the problem this time, at issue is someone working outdoors in the heat and then not having a working AC to ride home with.  I guess the sucking never ends for a tick.  I am quite sure that if there is an absolutely wrong answer to this question, the Tick will not only choose it but make it their life's goal to fulfill.

I did find a new website in which one allegedly is able to email their boss anonymously.  I am not so sure that in doing so, one could be found out and called to answer for their comments.  More thought and a more thorough investigation is warranted before I use this service.  It is intriguing though, just the thought of being able to vent ones feelings toward a boss with no chance of retribution.  I will let you know what I find out.

Having been on call night before last, I still have not fully recovered from the lack of sleep.  It normally takes several nights of consistently good rest to get back to feeling good.  Again, I'm not sure how a healthcare facility can say they are promoting wellness in the community they serve and abuse the workforce to the point of ruining their health.

There is a theory that if one tells a lie often enough, eventually it will be believed to be true.  This is what has happened with America.  We have been told for so long the "we" are the best in the world.  Problems like being forty-seventh in the world in healthcare never seem to get the airtime they deserve. The fact that multiple countries have a far better work/life balance with the benefit of being more productive and emotionally more stable than the US.  We in the US spend more hours working just to pay taxes than we do enjoying our lives.  The companies we work for wring the last drop of life from our broken bodies and then kick us to the curb all under the guise of being "one big family" and "caring".  When you hear about this being the "Land of Opportunity" just remember that the opportunity could be to abuse you for all your worth.  It's been said that never has anyone on their death bed stated that they wished they had spent more time at work.  I will not die at my job.  Paradise awaits, see you there.

It's wanting what you got...

That is a lyric from a Cheryl Crowe song and it is so true.  It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you got.  Most of you will think of possessions, cars, boats or things in general.  I think of my unconquerable soul, the one thing that is truly me.  That is what I want and while the corporate leaches will try daily to wrest it from me, I will never let it go.  Watching my co-workers trudge through their days reminds me of footage taken during the second World War of workers in concentration camps.  Seeing them simply placing one foot in front of the other as a means of surviving one more day.  Each day survived is just one more closer to death.  That is because the workers in the films, like those around me were not / are not living!  I refuse to give in to the soul sucking vampires of corporate America.  I will live the life I choose, the way I choose to live it.  Not in fear or remorse but with hope and the joy of knowing I am ME.

The other day when the Tick and significant other returned to collect their animals, they were asked about taking care of ours during our trip.  The comment of not having the time was mentioned and I immediately thought of not having the time to help them any more.  Let me see if I understand this.  We take care of their pets free of charge with only a moments notice for an undetermined period of time but they don't have time to return the favor.  I get to PAY someone to look after our animals (two) because this useless lump of detritus is unable to focus on anything other than themselves for two weeks.  And I still get to pay for the auto and mobile.  Well, January is fast approaching and those cold winds bode harsh and fateful changes.

One of the things that the spousal unit does that irritates the living shit out of me is to make a decision to do something and then make multiple changes along the way.  We have another trip planned for next year and already the thought of "other options" is rearing it's ugly head.  You make a plan and stick to it until a change is necessitated.  You DO NOT make multiple changes to the plan leading up to the event and then continue to make changes while undertaking the event.  And they wonder why my stress level is over the moon.  I guess the one thing that I seem to be in short supply of and want more of is sanity.  Or maybe I already have it, I just need to make them realize what they have to lose.